i want you, boy

ahhh... so many stupid issues, i think.

1. i'm so fucked up. i didn't mean it but he took that differently. wae? wae? i know, sometimes i know, i flirt with them, the customers but i didnt want it go as far as calling and talking and going out with them. thats just so wrong.

2. if ZE:A did come to Malaysia, the tickets will cost about RM5oo. With 3 person going, me, Taera, n my mom, what Geno-kun gave me would not be enough... what to do now? T__T

3. i think i told him not to post any love related post on my WALL but why did he still do it? why? i thought i'm easy to be understood. but i guess, not. i'm tired with those looks they gave me at school. i hate it, really. it's not like i'm showing off the fact that i DO have a bf but he just have to do that. and i'll have to live with it. =[

4. i find it hard to talk to him again. haha. weird. everytime i talked to him, i remembered this, "i cant talk about korean boys, i cant talk about them, i cant tease him, i cant spazz with him, i cant ask his help, i cant share what im feeling. i cant do anything." and thats hurting me. i dont know. probably because half of my life is centered there, i feel like half of myself are missing when i'm with him. but i love him and he's practically the other half. i dont know anymore.

5. another issue about ZE:A. if they are attending the Hallyu Dream Festival, then they wouldnt come to Msia. NO. I DONT WANT THAT. PLEASE COME TO MALAYSIA. I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH. i find myself really bothered by this. and i find myself crying. i just really wanted them to come. my wish... please come true. Malilith, please dont torture me like this anymore. you know it hurts, it fucking hurts. i knew you knew. you just like to torture me, dont you?

yeah.. i guess i'll just stop there.